I’m sure we’ve all met a guarded girl or guy (Yes, even men do become guarded. We just show it differently) and thought maybe they were seeking attention one way or the other…
She promised me she was never going to leave me after all that we had been through. I invested my time in her because she simply told me that she was different, She said she loved me. It was pretty deep because when someone says they love you, they mean it right? WRONG
Maybe in the past generations, back before the world became a dark place maybe then it would have made a huge difference but these days even children know how to use that word. But exactly how many of them know what it means?
I was distraught by how she just up and left me without any explanation. I had my life planned out perfectly and she was in my plans. How then do I go back, sit down and draft another plan without her. A plan that’s written “Lonely” all over. The worst part is it’s not the first time someone promised me a future and left me in their past. Now it just feels like my life is a marathon, I’ve been watching the same movie from a young age that I know exactly what is going to happen in the next scene.
I do get thoughts as to whether Hapiness wants me to be in her life. Every time I try to greet her, she treats me like those people who have a mission to screw up her life and leave.
People do change and in fact those past relationships have had an influence on the type of person I have become; a cold hearted guy who has distanced himself from the world. A lot of us are defined by our past… maybe we really should stop wasting the present by being in past but how do we do that?
I know that this is unfair on the people who really want to see me happy but after having your heart mishandled, being kicked down whilst at it, getting back up and trying to love again only to have history repeat itself, and now you are just there sick of it all trying to conceal your emotions because your heart can’t stop bleeding and no amount of glue will put the pieces back together; how then do you get up and say “I love you”?